Political in nature, Yet Funny As All Get Out...and true to! -

*I was sent this in an email. I thought many of you would enjoy this. It is not to start a debate, or even political discussio. Just to have a chuckle. Enjoy! Pele*

Dear Mr. and Mrs. G.H.W. Bush,

Once again, it is that time of year when we update the parents of our

students on their child's progress, and we regret to inform you that your

son, Georgie, is not doing as well as we'd hoped and expected when he

embarked on his four-year program at our school.

As you are well aware, Georgie was installed as class president at the start

of the school year, despite the fact that the majority of his fellow

students did not vote for him. We foresaw problems immediately, but were

assured by several school board members (who, as we understand it, are

friends of your family) that this would not result in any real difficulty.

Unfortunately, they have been proven wrong.

In the area of scholastic achievement, despite our best efforts, Georgie is

still reading and speaking at a grade level far below our usual standards.

At this point, we are not sure if his failure to learn is due to laziness

and a lack of ability to apply himself to his studies, or if he simply lacks

the intellectual capacity to improve in these areas.

His oral presentations to the class are particularly troubling; it is

apparent that Georgie has not read the necessary materials, and he often

simply fabricates facts to hide this shortcoming. In oral exams, he tends to

repeat the same answers over and over, e.g. "The economy is good; jobs are

on their way," indicating a profound failure to keep up with the Current

Events portion of the curriculum.

Georgie also tends to fabricate elaborate stories about himself - which,

admittedly, can sometimes be very amusing. During a school celebration last

May, he delighted his fellow students by coming to class in a little "flight

suit" (just like the grown-ups wear!), and had everyone in stitches with his

story about the family dog having eaten his report card from military pre-school!

On the whole, however, Georgie does not play well with other children. His

"leadership" in the classroom continues to divide many students, one against

the other. Other study groups, such as our French and German-language

classes, are no longer willing to cooperate with Georgie's group, even

though they have traditionally done so in the past.

Your son also displays a lack of taking responsibility for his failings, and

seems unable to appreciate the consequences of his actions. Although he was

provided with the best textbooks on the subjects of the Economy, Job

Creation, The Environment, et cetera, these books were damaged or completely

destroyed within a matter of months. Georgie insists that he "inherited"

these books in poor condition, despite all evidence to the contrary.

(In fact, these same textbooks were previously used by one of our very best

students, who actually returned them in better condition than he found

them!)

During his first few weeks with us, Georgie quickly became part of a group

of other "problem students." Despite warnings, he has consistently

befriended children whom we consider to be "bad elements," such as Little

Kenny Lay and a foreign-exchange student named Chalabi. Both of these

youngsters have been expelled from other schools due to their involvement in

cheating other students out of their lunch money. We feel that these kinds

of relationships can only lead to no good, and hope that you will advise

your child accordingly.

Georgie often displays aggressive behaviour in the schoolyard, and recently

assaulted a student in another school district, completely unprovoked. When

asked about this incident, Georgie insisted that the other child was armed

and dangerous. When investigation into the matter proved otherwise, Georgie

changed his story several times: he was just trying to "democratize" the

other child, the other child's school was harboring gang members, and so on.

Quite frankly, his story on this topic has so changed from week to week, we

simply can't trust his word at all anymore.

Georgie's friends, while not great in number, are very loyal, but tend to be

over-protective. If any of the other students point out Georgie's failing

grades, these friends simply shout them down and tell them not to speak at

all. When Georgie was summoned to the principal's office several weeks ago,

he insisted that his "best friend" come with him. We feel that it is in

Georgie's best interest to learn to stand up for himself; failure to do so

could seriously damage his ability to handle a leadership role in his adult years.

As you are aware, final exams will be held in November, and Georgie's past

performance leads us to conclude that he will not be able to achieve the

grades necessary to continue on with another four-tear term at our institution.

Yours Truly,

Ms. J.Q. Public, Assistant Principal

Pele
Higher, higher burning fire...making music like a choir
"Oooh look! A pub!" -exclaimed after recovering from a stupid fall
"And for the decadence of art, nothing beats a roaring fire." -TMK

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