Forums > Social Chat > Are you ready to be a parent?

Posted: 1st Sep 2003
IT's official...Im ready to have children...heh...LIES! thats Tres amusing, well done for find it !!
xx

Posted: 1st Sep 2003
I didn't take the test because I know I don't want ANY kids!

Dio said when my maternal instincts kick in he is gonna get me my German Shepard puppy!

RISK: Do not follow the common path; Go where there is no path and leave a trail.

Posted: 1st Sep 2003
Tiff, it's actually not a test, per se. It's more like instructions on how to change your life so it matches what it would be like if you had kids. Just go read it. It's very funny, and meant to turn everyone off from having kids. hehe

Posted: 1st Sep 2003
I think that one German commercial Dio had on his comp would turn anybody off to the idea of having kids!

Ok I go read it

RISK: Do not follow the common path; Go where there is no path and leave a trail.

Posted: 1st Sep 2003
Ok just finished reading it. I feel sorry for my mom now! She had four of us kids to handle. No wonder she has so many grey hairs on her head!

RISK: Do not follow the common path; Go where there is no path and leave a trail.

Posted: 1st Sep 2003
hehe.. I have three kids. It's actually worse than that. They mention nothing about the carpet. You can't have carpet and children in the same house.

Posted: 1st Sep 2003
wow... that sure doesnt sound very promising ill tell you.

however... and i am speaking from my heart here, and in reality it could be totally wrong, because i do not KNOW

but this is raising a child in a western, more economically advantaged, country.
do the same rules apply everywhere with all kids? i am sure kids will be kids anywhere, anytime, but i can not help but think that it is the culture and the parenting style which largely determines how a child will be through early years. i do know that we teach people, including children, how to treat us. this doesnt mean of course that the entire process is parent --> childs, but it is really 2-way.

but anyways... no... i am definitely not ready for children at this point in my life!

Wow

Posted: 1st Sep 2003
They forgot the changing diapers part.

Actually, of all the skills I've learned in medical school, that might be the most useful. I learned how to change a diaper. My cheat, though, is that I got to wear latex gloves to do it.

-Mike

Certified Mad Doctor and HoP High Priest of Nutella



A buckuht n a hooze! -Valura

Posted: 1st Sep 2003
even after all that... I still want one.. found the perfect man.. I want a little one of him to look after.. BUT - not for a very long time yet..

I honour you as an aspect of myself..

You are never to old to storm a bouncey castle..

Posted: 1st Sep 2003
And that test only covers through toddler-hood, though funny and accurate. (love the goat in the grocery store!)

Forgetting that past that there is....

Having to get him up in the morning for school. It requires flipping the mattress with him on it.

Getting him dressed. The current arguement is the requirement to properly wear a belt because he will get laughed out of school when his pants fall down.

And this isn't even touching on the great shower debates that occur!

Eating. Oh god! It takes precious time away from tv, games, outdoors, legos, drawing, picking his nose...who knows? The idea of sitting down and actually consuming a meal with the family is approached as some form of medieval torture.

The convenient statement of "I don't know" If I never hear these words again, I will die a happy women.

I was once told that after infancy it gets easier. They are more independent (it's a ruse!)
and able to communicate, which means they can argue, scream, and tell you off. Great!
I really miss the days that I could put Noah down and come back and he would still be in the same place. Of course, that was 8 years ago.
But, on the flip side, nothing replaces when he runs up to me (especially in front of his friends) and wraps his arms around my waist, kisses me and tells me he loves me. That is what makes it all worth it!

And, my son is 8 1/2. I am still not ready to be a parent!

Pele
Higher, higher burning fire...making music like a choir
"Oooh look! A pub!" -exclaimed after recovering from a stupid fall
"And for the decadence of art, nothing beats a roaring fire." -TMK

Posted: 2nd Sep 2003
I found this a while ago and thought that it fit the nature of this thread:

For those who already have children past this age, this is hilarious.
For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning.
For those who have not yet had children, this is birth control.

The following came from an anonymous mother in Austin, TX (poor woman)
Things I've learned from my children (Honest and No Kidding):

A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2,000 sq foot house 4 inches deep.

If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.

A 3-year-old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a superman cape. It is strong enough, however, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 foot room.

You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using the ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
The glass in windows (even double pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

When you hear the toilet flush and the words "Uh-oh", it's already toolate.

Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

A six-year-old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year-old man says they can only do it in the movies.

A magnifying glass can start a fire even on an overcast day.

Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a four-year-old.

Play Dough and Microwave should never be used in the same sentence.

Super glue is forever.

No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.

Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

VCR's do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.

Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

You probably do not want to know what that odor is.

Always look in the oven before you turn it on. Plastic toys do not like ovens.

The fire department in Austin has a 5 minute response time.

The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earth worms dizzy.
It will however make cats dizzy and cats throw up twice their bodyweight when dizzy.

FYI: I am not Pele. If you wish to reply to me and use a short version of my name, use: PWB.

English? Who needs that? I'm never going to England. - Homer Jay Simpson

Posted: 2nd Sep 2003
Which is the reason I have foregone ceiling fans in my home/apartments.

Did you also know that potted plant dirt is a real bi-atch to get out of a green shag carpet, and doesn't resemble grass, no matter how hard your 3 year old insists it does.

I think the women in the pervious post needs to tame her children a bit! lol

Pele
Higher, higher burning fire...making music like a choir
"Oooh look! A pub!" -exclaimed after recovering from a stupid fall
"And for the decadence of art, nothing beats a roaring fire." -TMK

Posted: 2nd Sep 2003
Don't forget having to politely tell the inlaws that rules your wife and you make for the child don't change when either of us leave the room.

And then said inlaw yelling at you at the top of her voice, refusing to talk to you or visit and making your wife upset for weeks.

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