Cyber sex ....(joke)

> ***** JOKE: Cybersex **********> > Wellhung: Hello, Sweetheart. What do you look like?> > Sweetheart: I am wearing an expensive red silk> blouse, a black> leather mini skirt and high heeled boots. I am> tanned and very> buffed. I workout everyday. My measurements are> 36-24-36. What> do you look like?> > Wellhung: I'm 6'3 and about 250 lb. I wear glasses> and have on a> pair of blue sweatpants I just bought at Walmart.> I'm also> wearing an old T-shirt, it's got some barbecue sauce> stains on> it and it smells kind of funny.> > Sweetheart: I want you. Would you like to screw me?> > Wellhung: OK> > Sweetheart: We're in my bedroom. There's soft music> playing on the stereo and candles on my nightstand.> I look up> into your eyes and I'm smiling. My hand works its> way down to> your crotch and I begin to feel your huge swelling> bulge.> > Wellhung: I'm gulping. I'm beginning to sweat.> > Sweetheart: I'm pulling up your shirt and kissing> your chest.> > Wellhung: Now, I'm unbuttoning your blouse. My hands> are> trembling.> > Sweetheart: I'm moaning softly.> > Wellhung: I'm taking hold of your blouse and I'm> sliding it> softly off.> > Sweetheart: I'm throwing my head back in pleasure.> The cool silk> slides off of my warm body. I'm rubbing your bulge> faster now,> rubbing and pulling.> > Wellhung: My hand suddenly jerks spastically and> tears a hole in> your blouse. I'm sorry.> > Sweetheart: That's, OK. It wasn't really too> expensive.> > Wellhung: I'll pay for it.> > Sweetheart: Don't worry about it! I'm wearing a lacy> black bra,> my soft breasts are rising and falling as I breathe> harder and> harder.> > Wellhung: I'm fumbling with the clasp of your bra, I> think it's> stuck. Do you have scissors?> > Sweetheart: I take your hand and kiss it softly, I> reach behind> my back and undo the clasp. My bra slides off. The> cool air> caresses my breasts, my nipples are erect for you.> > Wellhung: How did you do that? I'm picking up the> bra and> inspecting the clasp.> > Sweetheart: I'm arching my back. Oh baby, I just> want to feel> your tongue all over me.> > Wellhung: I'm dropping the bra. Now I'm licking> your, you know,> breasts They're neat!> > Sweetheart: I'm running my fingers through your> hair. Now I'm> nibbling your ear.> > Wellhung: I suddenly sneeze. Your breasts are> covered with spit> and phlegm.> > Sweetheart: WHAT?> > Wellhung: I'm so sorry. Really.> > Sweetheart: I'm wiping your phlegm off of my breasts> with the> remains of my blouse.> > Wellhung: I'm taking your sopping wet blouse from> you and> throwing it in the corner of the room.> > Sweetheart: OK. I'm pulling your sweatpants down and> rubbing> your hard tool.> > Wellhung: I'm screaming like a woman! Your hands are> cold! Yeee!> > Sweetheart: I'm pulling up my miniskirt. Take off my> panties.> > Wellhung: I'm pulling off your panties. My tongue is> going all> over, in and out and nibbling on you. ummm, wait a> second.> > Sweetheart: What's the matter?> > Wellhung: I've got a pubic hair caught in my throat.> I'm choking.> > Sweetheart: Are you OK?> > Wellhung: I'm having a coughing fit. I'm turning all> red.> > Sweetheart: Is there anything I can do to help?> > Wellhung: I'm running to the kitchen. Choking> wildly. Looking> for a cup. Where do you keep your cups??> > Sweetheart: In the cabinet to the right of the sink!> > Wellhung: I'm drinking a cup of water. There that's> better.> > Sweetheart: Come back to me, lover.> > Wellhung: I'm washing the cup now.> > Sweetheart: I'm aching for you lover.> > Wellhung: Now I'm drying the cup. I'm putting it> back in the> cabinet and now I'm walking back to the bedroom.> Wait it's dark,> I'm lost. Where is the bedroom?> > Sweetheart: Last door on the left at the end of the> hall.> > Wellhung: I found it.> > Sweetheart: I'm tugging off your pants. I want you> so badly.> > Wellhung: Me too.> > Sweetheart: I kiss you passionately. Our naked> bodies pressed> against each other.> > Wellhung: Your face is pushing my glasses into my> face. It hurts.> > Sweetheart: Why don't you take your glasses off?> > Wellhung: OK. But I can't see very well. I'm placing> my glasses> on the nightstand.> > Sweetheart: I'm bending over the bed. Give it to me> baby!> > Wellhung: I have to pee. I'm fumbling my way blindly> to the> bathroom> > Sweetheart: Hurry back lover.> > Wellhung: I find the bathroom and it's dark. I'm> feeling around> for the toilet and lift the lid.> > Sweetheart: I'm waiting eagerly for your return.> > Wellhung: I'm done going. I'm feeling around for the> flush> handle.......uh-oh!> > Sweetheart: What's the matter now?> > Wellhung: I just realized I peed in your hamper.> Sorry again. I'm> walking back to the bed now. Blindly feeling my way.> > Sweetheart: Mmmm, yes. Come on.> > Wellhung: Now I'm going to put my, you know, thing> in your umm,> woman's thing.> > Sweetheart: Yes! Do it, Baby! Do it!> > Wellhung: I'm touching your smooth butt. It feels so> nice.> Ma'am, I'm having a little problem here.> > Sweetheart: I'm moving my ass back and forth. I> can't wait> another second. Slide it in! Screw me!> > Wellhung: I'm flaccid.> > Sweetheart: WHAT?> > Wellhung: I'm limp. I can't sustain an erection.> > Sweetheart: I'm standing up and turning around; an> incredulous> look on my face.> > Wellhung: I'm shrugging with a sad look on my face,> my wiener> all floppy. I'm looking for my glasses to see what> the problem> is.> > Sweetheart: NO! Never mind. I'm getting dressed, I'm> putting on> my underwear and my wet nasty blouse.> > Wellhung: No wait. I can't find the night table. I'm> reaching> across the dresser, knocking off cans of hairspray,> your picture> frames and your candles.> > Sweetheart: I'm buttoning my blouse. I'm putting on> my shoes.> > Wellhung: Now I've found my glasses. My God! One of> your candles> fell on the curtain! The curtain is on fire. I'm> pointing at it> with> a shocked look on my face.> > Sweetheart: Go to hell! I'm logging off, LOSER!> > Wellhung: Now the carpet is on fire! Nooooooo!> > > USER 'SWEETHEART' HAS LOGGED OFF Super' grin

[image]https://www.homeofpoi.com/ubb/images/icons/grin.gif">------------------[/image]"We are the music makers, and we are the dreamers of the dreams"- Willy Wonka

Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear--not absence of fear.

- Mark Twain

Forums > Social Chat > Cyber sex ....(joke)

HOPニュースレター