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DurbsBRONZE Member
Classically British
5,689 posts
Location: Epsom, Surrey, England


Posted:
This has been troubling me recently so I thought I'd get other peoples opinions, especially as the number of "My first performance" threads is on the increase.

Whenever I go out to a party, whether it's a mates party, club or major event I always take my poi with me. I even take them with me to places where I'm not planning to spin just in case I get the chance. As far as I can see this is all a good thing as it shows a love of what I'm/we're doing.
But, I never feel 100% comfortable getting up and doing poi - fire, glow or practice - infront of people. Even if I'm not performing, just practising with other people around, I get the feeling that it could be seen as showing off,craving attention or just arrogance in assuming people want to watch me.
Sometimes I spin at parties because people ask me to, other times I'm *altered* and just feel the need to spin, sometimes I'm just bored.
The reason, i guess, does makes a difference but I can't help get the impression that if I was at a party and someone came along and started doing close-up magic or acrobatics (or whatever) there would be some feelings of resentment against them.
Also as I'm progessing in my poi-ing skills, I'm never sure whether or not to offer to help people I see. I recently went to the Ambient Picnic in Shalford, Surrey where everyone and there mother seemed to be spinning poi - but only basic spinning and the 2 beat weave. I was completely put off spinning as I didn't want to be seen as a show-off.
Is this natural shyness or am I right in thinking there's a certain "vibe" that needs to be present in order for spinning to go down well?

Gosh, what a long thread...

Burner of Toast
Spinner of poi
Slacker of enormous magnitude


Nyxenthusiast
385 posts
Location: NorCal


Posted:
well, you know people like what you're doing because they're smiling and saying their "ooo's" and "ahh's" and you know you're having fun doing it so where's the harm? I suppose in a manner of speaking it's showing off, but as long as you're not lording it over everyone else i don't see anything wrong with showing off! I'm just as eager to "oooo" and "ahh" over someone else so if anyone is resentful of what i happen to be doing i say too bad, they're just jealous! Some people in life are performers, others are spectators...one needs the other and there's nothing wrong with either, imo!
Have fun!

"Dancing can reveal all the mystery that music conceals"

~Charles Baudelaire


MikeGinnyGOLD Member
HOP Mad Doctor
13,925 posts
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA


Posted:
Eh, it's just entertainment in the end. I mean, whatever poi means to us, it's just entertainment to others.

If I'm at a party and peoping entertained, then I'll entetain, provided I feel like entertaining and I'm sober.

And if there's a spinner around who's less advanced than I am, I don't care. Maybe s/he'll pick some moves up from me. I've learned that spinning and pride are a bad mix. And I've learned what I know from watching other spinners.

And yeah, I've been at a party where one of the guests was a magician and put on a show. It was really fun, as a matter of fact.

-Mike

Certified Mad Doctor and HoP High Priest of Nutella



A buckuht n a hooze! -Valura


Cazzarmember
53 posts
Location: Vancouver, Canada


Posted:
Poi to me is something I do for myself. It is my getaway, it is my self expression, it is how i can express my feelings..i can think while doing it about decsions..or i can do it to just have one thing to concentrate on instead of a billion..because it takes my whole focus.
I don't mind doing in front of people I like for people to see something new and different and then they can go and say ...'oh you'll never guess what i saw today...this girl was literally spining fire all around her body'..haha i mean it gives other people a buzz too! But I prefer to listen to my walkman and spin and dance and have it sacred to myself..I do understand and i also feel that way sometimes Durbs..just becuase when someone is good at something..(well this is my theory) a lot of people fear that people will reject them if they are bettter at something then they are..and in a lot of cases this is true..but then if you're someone like me you appreciate things that people can do that you can't..i love to watch people use their talents and show them off..it's very hard for a person to say...i'm good at this..and i want to share it with you! If someone wants me to teach a few moves..i love to do this..as i'm giving a piece of myself to them and ultimately making them happy! I love to see people succeed!
People won't think you are showing off unless they are jealous people..and well there is people out there like that..but usually they'll only feel it..not many people are going to go..FUCK OFF YOU SHOW OFF... becasue they'll still have a facination aye?
but that's my thoughts
take care ya'll
peace out
cazzar

master sodiummember
536 posts
Location: carson city, nevada


Posted:
its hard finding the fine line between spinning poi, where others know its just you having fun, and seeming like you're trying to show off.

if you honestly want to seem like you're not showing off, go to a secluded place where there is not many people, and have a go. that way you're not all up in peoples faces like "look at me, I know more then you", plus you dont have to worry about being uncomfortable in front of people.

but I say why worry. like nyx said, if they think you're showing off, then they're just jealous. I remember when I used to see people and judge how they compared to me in the beginning. then after a while of doing it, when I got my dance style worked in there I just stopped, because I realized its not who has more moves, but its all just different styles. and if they cant get over their feelings of inadequacy then maybe they should stop trying new things, cause that'll happen alot.

you can't have a war against terrorism because war IS terrorism.it's not about worshipping fire. its about making the fire want to worship you.


dulce flamesmember
234 posts
Location: Oceanside, California USA


Posted:
As many have said... Anyone who thinks you're showing off is just jealous - yet, I imagine that if anyone thought you were showing off for spinning fire, they would be the minority. Most people are excited about a little extra entertainment. I always bring my poi as well, because you never know when the urge or opportunity might come up. I say that if your heart is telling you you should spin, you should go for it. Most everyone will be stoked to watch you and if they're not, maybe they're just boring... As for other spinners, ANYONE who really wants to learn poi should be stoked to learn some new moves. Why not let them watch you and learn... As long as you're open to them if they want to ask questions, I imagine they would be happy to learn something new.. I always am. Since I read your thread I have a song in my head from someone I've often seen quoted by Bender.... Ani Difranco....
quote:
God help you if you are an ugly girl, of course too pretty is also your doom. 'Cause everyone harbors a secret hatred for the prettiest girl in the room. God help you if you are a phoenix and you dare to rise up from the ash. A thousand eyes will smolder with jealousy, while you are just flying past.....
Beauty and talent can be interchangeable when it comes to jealousy... Keep flying is what I say... Have fun and follow your desires.... Most will be glad that you did, including you!

CharlesBRONZE Member
Corporate Circus Arts Entertainer
3,989 posts
Location: Auckland, New Zealand


Posted:
This is a really interesting thread, particularly as Durbs has answered his own question in the first post...

quote:
Whenever I go out to a party, whether it's a mates party, club or major event I always take my poi with me. I even take them with me to places where I'm not planning to spin just in case I get the chance
If you are spinning for yourself, then that's all you need to do. Most people can tell the difference between someone spinning at a party and someone jumping up and down yelling

"hey look at me, look at me, I can fit my finger up one nostril and out the other!!!"

The concept of showing off comes across a lot more from your behaviour than what you are actually doing.

If you go up to people, deliberately attract their attention or spin right up close when they are watching, and do this all the time, people will think you are a show-off.

They might still be impressed too though...

And don't let that 1% of morons at parties distract you. There will always be some idiot who willmake you doubt yourself, forget them, and think about what the rest of the group is doing...

Well, that's my 2 cents...

HoP Posting Guidelines
* Is it the Truth?
* Is it Fair to all concerned?
* Will it build Goodwill and Better Friendships?
* Will it be Beneficial to all concerned?


Ajaymember
158 posts
Location: Oxford, U.K.


Posted:
sometimes at parties i go and spin in a corner to the music not intending anyone to watch. i spin with my eyes closed sumtimes then when i look around i see everyone has grouped around me silently watching.

if your spinning fire then you've kinda gotta expect that people are gonna watch and genraly i dont like to do a "show" even if its just showing a group of mates as in : "now i will show you poi"
but i find that if i get my poi out just to spin for my self im not at all bothered by people coming over to watch.

One fine day in the middle of the night,
Two dead men got up to fight,
Back to back they faced each other,
Drew there swords and Shot each other.


DioHoP Mechanical Engineer
729 posts
Location: OK, USA


Posted:
Durb, if everyone had the same worries as you, there would be no entertainers in the world It's great that you spin poi for yourself, and I'm sure that a group watching would have only appreciation for your performance. Think of it this way - you're GIVING something to them.... maybe inspiration, maybe surprise, suspense, thrills, artistic expression, whatever. If you have talent, you have a gift

Just like Charles said, you're giving the audience a show, not calling attention to yourself. When it's FOR the group, you should have no regrets about performing. If it's for YOU, with the group involved (say vanity, pride, impress girls, whatever... ok girls are alright but the others are still vices ) then you're using your skill to get something from them rather than give.

Above all... HAVE FUN dude! There's far too much wrong in the world to fret over whether the commoners are jealous of your poi skills

What hits the fan is not evenly distributed.


Thistleold hand
950 posts
Location: Nottingham UK


Posted:
When I spin for myself in my garden I enjoy it on a physical and spiritual level, however the buzz I get from doing it in front of an audience gives me a completely different feeling. I love watching the expressions on the peoples faces and seeing that I am spreading a little happiness, and kids they're the best! They look at you like you're the most amazing thing they ever saw! I get this wonderful warm feeling inside.

* Hangs head in shame and adresses room, "My name is Thistle and I admit to being an attention seeking show off" stares at floor*

Last year I was going to lots of free-parties and fire-dancing pretty much all night. I had the same feelings you are describing, Durbs, so at this one party I decided not to fire-dance. After sunrise lots of people I didn't know came up to me and asked where I was the night before. When I told them I was there all night the reply was mostly that they were disappointed there was no fire show and the party vibe wasn't the same without it.

So I conclude with that and the fact that lots of people come up to me and thank me, some finding me in a crowd the next day to say cheers for the show. Most people don't see me as a show off even though I am.

Spin on, be free. Onelove Thistlefirepixie

Are we nearly there yet?


chairmenmeow47member
81 posts
Location: mesa, arizona


Posted:
i am not very good, so i always go to the back where no one is watching anyways. i think it's rude to make it so no one else can dance, but if you aren't bothering anyone then twirl away! i've noticed some people watch, but they are too afraid to let you know they are watching and enjoying. add to the atmosphere! keep on spinning....


-ivy. = ^ )

Ralph, jesus did not have wheels.--sunday school teacher, the simpsons


Bender_the_OffenderGOLD Member
still can't believe it's not butter
6,978 posts
Location: Melbourne, Australia


Posted:
confident? eager to twirl but scared of the guilt?
yin and yang - have your twirl but counter it with your personality!
two things man, to consider to this end!
1. wait till you feel that everyone else is mostly done, so that they are less inclined to announce that you that it was 'a bastard to follow your act'.
2. reassure peeps if they feel threatened! above and beyond all else, a twirl session is a social seesion first. If i twirl and don't socialise, it has been for nothing. prove that you're not an asshole and that you twirl for the love and not the ego! by and large people are not stupid and can tell sincerity in that promise!

Don't let guilt deprive you of enjoying your life the way you want to!
/runs around the office naked

(dulce you are my hero! Ani DiFranco rocketh my admittedly dancemusic dominated world)
it makes my group of mates appear all that less obsessed when i hear about other people 'packin poi wherever they go. i said nice bruv!

Laugh Often, Smile Much, Post lolcats Always


chicazulBRONZE Member
member
16 posts
Location: BC, Canada


Posted:
I am a bit of a showoff, although I try to restrain the impulse. Still, the fact that I have my staff in my car at all times (and frequently walk around with it when I go out in public) is for my own benefit. Most of the time I only use fire if someone requests it...other than that, I will wander around and spin unlit in whatever open spaces I can find. This usually results in conversations with strangers about what I'm doing, but I don't feel like I'm showing off because I'm not concerned with whether anyone is watching me or not.

DurbsBRONZE Member
Classically British
5,689 posts
Location: Epsom, Surrey, England


Posted:
Hmmm,
quote:
Originally posted by Brody:
Think of it this way - you're GIVING something to them.... maybe inspiration, maybe surprise, suspense, thrills, artistic expression, whatever.
But isn't it a bit arrogant to assume they want to receive your gift? Or is a gift always welcome?

I can most associate with Sodiums' comment,
quote:
Originally posted by master sodium:
its hard finding the fine line between spinning poi, where others know its just you having fun, and seeming like you're trying to show off .
Last night I span at a party purely because I had the "urge" to spin and trundled down the end of the garden with my Beamers. After zone-ing out for several minutes I looked about and the patio was full of mates - some looking, some not. But still I couldn't help feeling that some thought I was spinning just for them - my good friends do know I spin just for myself, few of them spin but they know you can trance into it - and I got the same impression that people wouldn't see it as me doing poi for myself but putting on a show to display my skills, i.e. showing-off (?)
You could argue that you could explain to them about how long you've been doing it and saying that it is something you just do for yourself, but again I think you run the risk of coming over all "Look at me - I can do something you can't" and then talking to them about it would enforce the idea that you're doing it to impress others...

Burner of Toast
Spinner of poi
Slacker of enormous magnitude


CassandraFroggie ... Ribbit !!!
4,224 posts
Location: Back in Paris... for now !


Posted:
Durbs, I don't think it is arrogant to make a gift... just give !!! you're not responsible for how the people take your gift.

One day I was walking around and that kid kept crying and his babysitter (well... obviously not mummy) didn't know what to do so i pulled out my poi to distract the kid and in 2 seconds he stopped crying and calmed down and watched then smiled, then laughed (because I was doing bouncy funny ridiculous moves). that's a simple gift...

However I have asked myself that question you ask... especialy because I used to be so shy that allthough I love dancing I often would not dare dance in public. now I feel i'm sort of "hiding" behind the poi and so i can dance more freely (does it make sense to anyone ???).
I'm near sighted and when I spin I am often in my bubble and I like it that way. I admit I often spin for my own pleasure but I've come to the conclusion that it makes me very happy also if someone enjoys watching yet I don't care if noone pays attention.

I don't like the word show off because it involves ego and allthough we all have our ego problems, I don't want to look at it that way. I just like the idea that it can be a show to entertain others... that's wonderful and sometimes you get the most amazing feedbacks and it's a give and take dynamic that I *really* love.

Shine on
Cassandra

"I want brown bread... no, that is diesel oil..."
"So I was raised in Europe, where History comes from ..."
"NON !!! La Plume de mon oncle n est pas Bingibangibungi !!!"


Salingermember
382 posts
Location: Southampton


Posted:
Ah, the spinners dilemma!

I thought about this last night, I ended up going down the beach on my own on the way back from a friends house for a quick spin. It turned out the beach was surprisingly quite busy and so I just kept walking down until I found the quiet spot. I too get locked in the zone spinning and when I eventually took notice around me I'd found that a lot of people had moved up the beach to watch. So I carried on spinning for a while and when I finished they applauded. It was a typical moment where you hadn't gone out of your way to get any attention but it had found you instead. It felt good as it should do, but you always have that weary feeling about how to react. For me I just smile and raise my staff for a split second to say thanks to them for choosing to watch, and walk off happy.

Does no one else remember what it was like on the other side of the fence? The first time I saw someone spin firestaff I was impressed by his bravery, skill and original hobby. At no point did I ever think that this person was showing off, perhaps we get a little unnecessarily paranoid about this?

A conspiracy of silence speaks louder than words...


SmokyDavySILVER Member
Do my poi look too small in this?
394 posts
Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada


Posted:
I was actually told for the first time ever at this Festival that I went to a month ago that I was 'showing off' and 'trying to get attention'.

Since then I've been less and less enthused about lighting up my poi, and even less enthused about doing it in the direct line of sight of the dancefloor and I've been moving farther and farther away from where the people are.

I'm a little overly-sensitive about that. When one of the people who said this to me came in on one of my fire spins at a friend's place, I suddenly became very self conscious and stopped "getting into it". I just wanted to put the poi down or let someone else take-over for me.

Hopefully I'll get over it eventually...

SmokyDavySILVER Member
Do my poi look too small in this?
394 posts
Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada


Posted:
I remember when I was starting to get into the party scene in toronto I went to a camping party out in the woods and I brought along some glowsticks..

I decided at one point to tie them to my string and swing them around to the music (this was looong before I started doing poi).

One of the "house snobs" told me the next day that it was like I was trying to "get attention". I defended myself saying I was just having fun, which she reluctantly allowed me.

This stopped my desire to swing glowing stuff around for a long time...

This same girl complimented me on my fire-dance since my return..

IdubIHoP Lurker
272 posts
Location: Medway, Kent, UK


Posted:
I'm really new to this (1.5 mnths spinning 3wks with fire) and have only spun twice infront of people I don't know.

Once was a lovely experience in the woods camp fire everyone just chilling. I felt really nervous about doing this but it was cool even got a sort round of applause after (didn't feel I deserved it but still nice).

The second time, hmm, was The Big Beach Boutique in Brighton.

I'd waited until it'd all calmed down, there were a few other groups around me who span, so I let them do their thing for quite a while. Eventually I just felt like I had to have a go, so I picked my stuff up and wandered down the beach away from them, so not to seem as though I were invading their space and I had a couple of spins.

So I managed to overcome my shyness that time, and I just hope I didn't come across as arrogant.

Actually some guy suggested that I learn neck wraps, cause I was using forearm bouncy wraps, and some lovely psuedo-ball-breaking crotch wraps. That was really nice of him. Then his mate did a 5beat btb weave and some 4beat corkscrews, so I jokingly called him a showoff

However I did spend the morning teaching some basic to whomever asked me, that's a real ego booster that, and you feel like your sharing, which is wicked.

----that was really long, but I think all posts in this thread will be----

*Oh, just for a minute,* my bed said.
"Don't lie to me," I grumbled.
*But you're so tired...*


DomBRONZE Member
Carpal \'Tunnel
3,009 posts
Location: Bristol, UK


Posted:
Lots of great answers!

I've only met a couple of really arrogant spinners who demand to spin regardless of the the space available to them, and they crave the middle of the dance floor and show no respect for anyone else. Luckily they are in the minority and they do stick out to other spinners.

However it's easy for non-spinners to assume that you're trying to show off. Some may think "wow, that's cool", but other will think "so? stop pissing about and showing off". To some people spinning is boring to watch!

Luckily if I'm out with friends they know I love to spin and are appreciative of it (or so they tell me ), and at parties they'll ask me to bring along my fire stuff and teaching poi. At the parties and clubs I go to everyone almost knows about spinners and there'll be a bunch of spinners there. In these cases you have an instant support and mutual appreciation crowd which makes for a great spinning environment.

In other places and out in the park at lunchtime I'm really nervous about spinning. It attracts attention to me, but it is something I really enjoy doing and I know why I'm doing it. Sure, I know people will watch me and if they do and enjoy it then that adds to my enjoyment.

FieryFlow, outdoor party on Saturday. Lots of spinners hopefully. I've loads loads of paraffin in the back of the car. Nobody to call you a show off. Get back here soon.

SmokyDavySILVER Member
Do my poi look too small in this?
394 posts
Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada


Posted:
You always were a tease Dom

Bender_the_OffenderGOLD Member
still can't believe it's not butter
6,978 posts
Location: Melbourne, Australia


Posted:
Me has always been a extrovert at heart performing or showing off? bah! The distinction wasn't clear 'till i was 17 years old - i first heard the term 'attention seeker'. I'd been so used to entertaining people all my life that i hadn't considered it to be a selfish thing.

I still don't!!! - I still find entertaining people more of a selfless endeavour. Don't let the small people take ya down. They want to snuff out YOUR fart so that their own will smell better!

If ya try to entertain people alla time, it grows on you: you have less time to spend being selfish, and ya get used to behaving in a giving manner. extroversion is underrated. the life led by the extrovert has more possibilities - it's a nice confidence booster! I have some really sweet introverted friends, but if you really want to live it to the fullest, socially, romantically, vocationally, water-lilly, you can't be sitting on yer hands! shyness or showing off? fukit, a twirl's a twirl's a twirl, just don't be regretting something you didn't do, yeah?
like the butthole surfers said.....

You can always tell if someone's entertaining to make others feel better! people are not dumb - a classic example is when at a party or a discussion board (makes no difference) someone is 'performing' poi or telling a story. If a second person interjects with their own fun, they feel threatened - it's no longer 'safe' and they are immadiately cold, striking back with negative jokes etc. if at that point the audience no longer provides them with happiness, it must mean that they only wanted the attention and not the chance to make others happy. If you practice this observation every day, you can very easily tell the negativity behind many people's behaviour - the hidden intent. Although subtleties such as gesticulations and expressions are less clear with text dialogue, I would say that most of the people @ HoP are genuine sweeties!
The best way to show that you're performing for everyone else too is wif a smile! sincere fun is awesomely infectious!

Laugh Often, Smile Much, Post lolcats Always


CassandraFroggie ... Ribbit !!!
4,224 posts
Location: Back in Paris... for now !


Posted:
I am convinced *my* fart smells way better than anybody else's ... does that make me arrogant ?

"I want brown bread... no, that is diesel oil..."
"So I was raised in Europe, where History comes from ..."
"NON !!! La Plume de mon oncle n est pas Bingibangibungi !!!"


Paddyback from the dead...sort of
884 posts
Location: 43°41'N 79°38'W


Posted:
I was told that girls didn't fart. Have I been misinformed?

Acidmember
110 posts
Location: Israel


Posted:
we don't fart! and we don't use the toilet-but when we do you can find tiny red hearts floating in it later...

you guys have put up a wonderful dilema-as usual...
when i go to a party i also always have my poi with me. the thing is i dont always get a chance to use 'em and i get scared that my friends will think im showing off.
the only time i really found myself showing off and wanting to was when i saw this guy thinking he can spin but did the weave with one poi/glowstick.
usually when i see peeps spinning i either feel like spinnig along or feel afraid to as they are much better than i.
hum... now what was my point you may ask?
my point is...
i guess dont think about too much. if you feel like spinning-spin!!
if u start thinking about what people will think you'll end up standing in a corner afraid to move

peace and love
Acid

life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans John Lennon


MikeGinnyGOLD Member
HOP Mad Doctor
13,925 posts
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA


Posted:
quote:
Originally posted by Bender_the_Offender:
Me has always been a extrovert at heart performing or showing off? bah! The distinction wasn't clear 'till i was 17 years old - i first heard the term 'attention seeker'.
No! Bender! YOU? An extrovert? Ya don't say...

-Mike

Certified Mad Doctor and HoP High Priest of Nutella



A buckuht n a hooze! -Valura


Nyxenthusiast
385 posts
Location: NorCal


Posted:
quote:
God help you if you are an ugly girl, of course too pretty is also your doom. 'Cause everyone harbors a secret hatred for the prettiest girl in the room. God help you if you are a phoenix and you dare to rise up from the ash. A thousand eyes will smolder with jealousy, while you are just flying past....
Awesome! Why haven't i heard of this singer before? Kinda reminds me of a book where a lot of the theme was not to listen to people with that attitude "who does she/he think she/he is, anyway?" The hell with 'em, rise up on whatever thermals make you happy!

"Dancing can reveal all the mystery that music conceals"

~Charles Baudelaire


Bender_the_OffenderGOLD Member
still can't believe it's not butter
6,978 posts
Location: Melbourne, Australia


Posted:
Ani rawks! instead of a porno britney image, Ani sports nasty brown dreads she's some very deeply meaningful social commentary in her songs ('glass house', '32 flavours', 'talk to me') that actually add to your wisdom if you think about the message she puts in each masterpiece, plus not a little relationship drama ('Fuck you' is hurtful and funny!) set to really nice neo-folky acoustic sound to it. get her live stuff first, it's much better cus she's a live performer first and a studio girl second (she started 'righteous babe' records)
my favourite of her original trax is 'talk to me' - my favourite track tho is a really sad cover of Bob Dylan's 'Most of the time' where she starts the track by sayin' "This is some serious shit now, I've got the Banjo out... " ) listen to these 4 songs and tells me what ya think!
amongst my hippy mates, she has a FANATICAL following.
Non-Https Image Link
She's gorgeous in the way that no teen pop machination will ever be.

Laugh Often, Smile Much, Post lolcats Always


Stellamember
63 posts
Location: Ontario


Posted:
Ani is tres cool indeed. Also a very interesting thread. I know exactly how you feel durbs, but even more so here in canada because i know a lot less people who spin. In fact i've only spun with one ohter person and she taught me. I feel really uncomfortable showing friends and people at parties but i busk on the street and im fine then. On the street it annoys me when people DONT look. For the most part i do feel like a show off and uncomfortable, but since reading all these posts and reminding myself what i've adopted for a moto, well SHIt i feel so much more confidant. I will now spin at music festivals and lose myself to the music because it feels so gooood. tanks all

rocketfire_tothemoon@hotmail.com CARPE DIEM seize the day and you will never regret your actions



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