Forums > Social Chat > I THINK I LIKE HER

Posted: 12th Aug 2002
I agree that you should tell her right away.
That way you can stop worrying about it 24/7, she will know so there won't be any bad vibes of the "i thought we had a friendship but you really just wanted to date me and the friendship means nothing" kind. And either way if you value the friendship then whatever her answer i am sure you will feel a lot better that you told her.
Oh and as for asking people to the movies i have seen countless guys ask a girl to the movies without letting her in on the most crucial information for the evening.. the it's a date part. One can't always assume that we chicks know it is a date if you didn't say it, if you take that approach you may want to tell her it's a date.

Posted: 13th Aug 2002
In the immortal words of who ever it was that said it first - it is better to regret something you have done than something you haven't done.

now this isn't always entirely true (as per things resulting in serious physical injury), but when it comes to romance, I think it holds.

as far as fear of fucking up, well, I've fucked up plenty of relationships in my time, and I'll probably royally fuck up a few more. Yes, you may very well fuck up this one too fireboy (count yourself as incredibly lucky if you don't), and many more as well. Each of these will all hurt in their own special ways. but if you want the wonderful highs that life can provide, you have to accept the inevitable lows that come with them - they come as a matched set - you can't order just one. you can live your life in the dull gray average between those peaks and valleys, or you can ride the roller coaster. Your choice. I'm betting most people who play with fire have already decided (at least subconciously) they prefer the roller coaster though.

rozi - I fully acknowledge it was a stereotype of women I was refering to. But I think you'll have to admit that it was a stereotype of men in your post to which I was responding. If you can fight fire with fire, then why not stereotypes with stereotypes?

-v-

Wiederstand ist Zwecklos!

Posted: 13th Aug 2002
Vanise - I'll admit my post was missing some important info: the background. I have known Ray for a time, & know him as a very sweet guy, who quite often plays it tough.

I had rather hoped that my use of a smilie would articulate the light-heartedness of my post and my use of overstatement/generalisation to create humour. It was also an articulation of how lovely I thought Ray's initial comment was. It was not an invitation to a gender war.

However if you would like to discuss this further with me, I am happy to do so via private message, rather than dampen the open discourse that is occurring in this post.

It was a day for screaming at inanimate objects.

What this calls for is a special mix of psychology and extreme violence...

Posted: 13th Aug 2002
rozi - sorry if I seemed like I was starting a gender war - not my intention. I didn't take what you said that seriously, I was just running with the concept. The whole thing about what goes through a guys head in the moments folling the observation of a girlfriend's new haircut was more in jest than truth (we don't really think that fast). I for one just don't put up with people that are that hard to please as the fictional girlfriend in that story (at least not anymore).

I guess I should have used an emoticon myself. I just haven't gotten the hang of using them, even after 10 years on the net. I'm emoticon challenged I guess



there we go.

-v-

Wiederstand ist Zwecklos!

Posted: 13th Aug 2002
No I havent fucked things up with her..........
im just afraid too.
Like how to say something to her, from deep inside of you without fucking it up.
man I am crazy about her.
You know when you are going to love someone deeply, and you don't want to scew it up ya..mean.

Fireboy

<<SINister miNISister>>
remeber kids jesus slaves

Posted: 13th Aug 2002
Please use a f*ck or *uck or something similar when swearing on the site...just to keep the baby monitors and other automatic filters from mis-intepreting the type of site htis is...

Cheers

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* Is it Fair to all concerned?
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* Will it be Beneficial to all concerned?

Posted: 13th Aug 2002
Aye Rozi and I go way back, even though we have never met, I feel we can poke and prod eachother and not make eachother angry. And for the record I am tough see my war face grrr !!!

Some Jarhead last night: "this dumb a$$ thinks hes fireproof"

Posted: 13th Aug 2002
oops, sorry charles. I seem to be forgetting my net manners right and left! Clearly I'm not getting enough sleep!

Fireboy - I know exactly what you mean about being afraid to screw things up by saying something heartfelt you mean that comes out all wrong. I'm right smack in the dab in the middle of doing that at this very moment (in slow motion no less, so I can savor every moment of the disaster).

I'm crazy about this girl I've known for a few years who is currently in the middle of spending two years in the peace corps in remote west africa - 2 days travel from the nearest airport, and 3 weeks to get a letter one way. I made the mistake of falling for her just before she left and we really connected in the week before she got on that damned plane. 10 months later the whole thing is a confused jumble and neither of us have any clue what to do about it.

I swear I pick complicated situations on purpose or something.

I've got 15 years on you and I'm still really talented at saying the wrong thing just when I really really want to be able to say exactly the right thing. But I'm trying to say it anyway even though I know I'll probably blow it since I have so many things working against me (6000 miles, 6 weeks time lag to exchange ideas, and my own ineptitude), because the one thing I do know is if I don't at least try, then I lose for sure.

So your situation is not unlike mine.

Do nothing and miss out for sure, or give it a go and have at least a fighting chance.

All the strategies in the world won't help you if you don't eventually use one, and you can never tell when circumstances will end your window of opportunity.

you can't win if you don't play.

-v-

Wiederstand ist Zwecklos!

Posted: 13th Aug 2002
bah I just totally miss read that whole thing!! So I dealeted what I had written, but since my goal is to get 1000 posts before I leave I am not going to deleate this post

[ 14 August 2002, 00:24: Message edited by: Raymund Phule ]

Some Jarhead last night: "this dumb a$$ thinks hes fireproof"

Posted: 13th Aug 2002
Vanise, I am so glad you adhere to the "you can't win if you don't play". My experience of people is that they tend to walk away if a situation isn't perfect. This counts for friends in relationships I have observed (guys & girls ), & relationships of my own.

It upsets me. I know there is a point where it hurts you more to stay, but if you cannot surmount obstacles in your relationships, & you don't even try, that is the saddest thing. So, in case no one else says it, good on you for being brave & strong enough to try & sort it out.

It was a day for screaming at inanimate objects.

What this calls for is a special mix of psychology and extreme violence...