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Forums > Social Chat > Annoying Children and Stella Drinking Tourists
Login/Join to Participateconfused and abused
363 posts
Location: bristol, United Kingdom
Once upon a time there was a budding little guy who only had one day a week off work all throughout the glorious summer. There was nothing more he liked doing than waking up with another stinky, electric sander pushed against forehead, kind of hangover and taking his favourite toys to the beach.
After a little while of groaning a little and drinking 3 litres of orange juice. 'Dennis'(as we will call the man to protect the identity of the sufferer) would love to pick up his poi or play with his devil sticks intent on having fun and trying to learn something new. But ALAS! OH TRAGEDY! He gets spotted here they come oh yes three bloated stomachs with the lovely tint of rouge sun'tan' and what looks like a over roasted child or eight. "Mummy, Mummy look at the clown doesn't he look funny!'
"Yes dear he does look funny, he's not very good though he keeps spinning it above his head. Don't worry son you'll have to practise more eh! mabye we'll see you next year when we're down"
OH MY GOD
Patronising arseholes
Is anyone else in my..sorry 'dennis' position? And are ther any solutions to this travesty that he's suffering
Please all contributions no matter how big or smaal would be gratefully accepted
x Tennis x
Humor distorts nothing, and only false gods are laughed off their earthly pedestals."
My cat's breath smells like catfood
4,224 posts
Location: Back in Paris... for now !
Listen, hun (first of all, lovely to see you on HOp, we missed you )
why waste energy on morons and pricks ??? don't you even worry ... are you offended ? by THEM ??? NO WAY ... don't be ...
learn to be deaf to those idiots or laugh at teh situation ... and maybe next time try and hand them a pair of beaming balls and ask them to help you progress by showing you a few thigns
shine on
Cassandra
"I want brown bread... no, that is diesel oil..."
"So I was raised in Europe, where History comes from ..."
"NON !!! La Plume de mon oncle n est pas Bingibangibungi !!!"
100 characters max...
2,996 posts
Location: Sydney, NSW, Australia
Don't worry, next year they will be in hospital having skin cancers removed...
(I can't believe I said that)
It was a day for screaming at inanimate objects.
What this calls for is a special mix of psychology and extreme violence...
4,224 posts
Location: Back in Paris... for now !
can't beleive you said that ...
can't beleive I laughed so much eitehr though
"I want brown bread... no, that is diesel oil..."
"So I was raised in Europe, where History comes from ..."
"NON !!! La Plume de mon oncle n est pas Bingibangibungi !!!"
confused and abused
363 posts
Location: bristol, United Kingdom
Hey i didn't say it was me! he he
It's not the fact that they annoy me it's just the fact that they distract me. Seriously if you see their bellies you would feel slightly ill and would not be able to think of anything else for weeks.AAAARRRGGGHHH!!! nightmare Thank you Ms Cassandra.
*hmm i need to distract them with something else while i'm playing,......let me think.....* ambles off trying to concoct an interesting and unique way to distract an entire beach....
I don't know what it is but it will have to involve sprouts....
My cat's breath smells like catfood
168 posts
Location: London
Hi tennis, i sympathis but definitely agree with cass... get them to do better!!
I used to get a fair bit of that (especially from my sister who thought it was 'sad' in the way some 15 yr olds do) for a while, but as soon as u can do some cool tricks they rapidly change their tune! Stick with it and dont let them put u off
aside: btw i quite like stella...
cheers
you have to let it all go... Fear, doubt and disbelief... Free your mind!
Times like these people wanna get High...
Real High and Real Fast...
This is gonna do it!!
confused and abused
363 posts
Location: bristol, United Kingdom
A HA Wind chimes made out of skin cancers and sundried sprouts dangling all over the beach that will put them off......oh and me..right back to square one..
My cat's breath smells like catfood
1,551 posts
Location: the arms of the Ganja Goddess
Next time do it with burning spiky balls and then ask them if the wanna try, since they are so professional at poi/devilsticks/staff. This will shut them up after they get a big spiky ball to the side of the face. *giggles like a madman*
You. Its whats for dinner!
As time passes, you realise all the mistakes you amde and the ones you wish you never did make.
The wave crashing on the beach
still can't believe it's not butter
6,978 posts
Location: Melbourne, Australia
to be disrespected by those who do not deserve respect is no great thing if you do not let it become so.
feel better, cus i had to read this post over coupla times cus it had iffy grammar.
Laugh Often, Smile Much, Post lolcats Always
192 posts
Location: London
evening all, just thought i'd pop down the local for a pint of poi. funny you should mention burny spikey balls....just the other day i thought about doing poi with either maces for flails (the ball on a chain and the ball has spikes on)...just wondering if you thought it might hurt? any ideas...answers on a postacard
I don't dance. I move to music - Some dumb schmuck, Blue Peter 16/9/02-------------------This morning, I sat on the TV and I watched the Sofa
466 posts
Location: Ft worth Texas
you could always "accidently"let one go in the specific direction of the shit talker."oops I am sorry I guess i need more practice"heheehe, sorry about the eye I hope it doesnt bruise too bad.does it burn ?use some aloe and dont stand so close next time.
There are no obstacles only challenges.
Very funny scotty now beam down my pants.
[colour."green"}What would willie do?
AHH theres too many wee leprechauns i cannae squash them all
Corporate Circus Arts Entertainer
3,989 posts
Location: Auckland, New Zealand
I like to think to my self "gee, look at all the people wandering around, who aren't stupid fat annoying tourists. I'm so lucky that out of all these people, the only stupid fat annoying tourists are the ones over there, there could have been hundreds of them today!"
Well, thats me, anyway...
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confused and abused
363 posts
Location: bristol, United Kingdom
Hmm.. Mr vaporloc that's a neat idea i do like that but Aha i think i can elaborate on that one how about giving the 'slightly broken' spiky poi (which is a rather fun and also new to me idea?!)to the child and make sure s/he tries to spin it towards their parent/s and watch as the spiky ball of pain hurtles towards their trusty can of stella knocking it onto their stinky barbeque and putting it out HA HA leaving me like this and them like this
P.s does anyone know where i can get hold of PROPER psychedelic images and screen savers on the net my sister wants to make special wallpaper but needs some inspiration. *each to their own i suppose*
Has anyone else suffered to the peril of the tourist?
x Tennis x
'read it and weep fat boy'
(don't know where it comes from but i love it '
My cat's breath smells like catfood
1,551 posts
Location: the arms of the Ganja Goddess
Good good
You. Its whats for dinner!
As time passes, you realise all the mistakes you amde and the ones you wish you never did make.
The wave crashing on the beach
466 posts
Location: Ft worth Texas
Ugh I live in fort worth (next to dallas)and I used to drive sedans to pick up people from the airport.I almost always heard :
wheres your cowboy hat and boots?
wheres all the horses?
can you use a lasso?
damn you texans drive fast.
jesus why is that cop behind us?
wheres your ranch?
why arent you stopping my stop is right here?
hey you are rolling and I am not out of they car yet.
HEY COME BACK MY BAGS ARE IN YOUR TRUNK!!!!!!!!!!!!
I always had to ask
Non-Https Image Link
easy to see why I dont work there anymore.
There are no obstacles only challenges.
Very funny scotty now beam down my pants.
[colour."green"}What would willie do?
AHH theres too many wee leprechauns i cannae squash them all
536 posts
Location: carson city, nevada
here's what you do:
get 7 midgets who have their own clown costumes. dont buy em if they dont have their own clown costumes, cause they aren't quality midgets.
get a tiny clown car
get a recording of the circus song "doot doot dootiloota loot doot doo doo"
train all of them to spin beaming poi
whenever someone does that again have all the midgets pile outta the clown car playing the song and have them beat the living crap outta the tourists. problem solved.
you can't have a war against terrorism because war IS terrorism.it's not about worshipping fire. its about making the fire want to worship you.
confused and abused
363 posts
Location: bristol, United Kingdom
O.k next problem where do i get just seven midgets,sorry vertically challenged, clowns as down at my local small people store they only sell them in crates of 24 and i would feel really harsh abandoning 17.Plus i cannot afford to feed them all. A midget is for life not just for fire spinning. The only small things i could get were yorkshire terrier dogs and well lets just say i'm struggling to get them to stand on two legs and smoke cigars let alone teach them a behind the back reverse weave to neck wrap. Life just doesn't get any worse. does it?
My cat's breath smells like catfood
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