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Forums > Social Chat > I've got a theory on HOPs amazing service
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8 posts
Location: My house, Epsom, Near Sutton, South London, Surrey...
OKok, I've been thinking this through, and this is the only way it could make sense.
We all know HOP are amazing at delivery, (and quality but I'm not gonna talk about that now).. when it comes to speed..its just otherworldly, never seen before, in any company anywhere..well, thats my own opinion.
You buy stuff online, from your own country, and somehow you receive stuff from HOP few days before, when you ordered on the same day!!How??
I think..well, Id LIKE to think..that in fact, the whole truth of HOP - why it's known by everyone, why they're so reliable and never seem to be tooo busy - is because in fact, they have branches all around the planet, in all continents, with hundreds of employers who work there for life, and are forbidden from mentioning the name HOP. Therefore, speed of delivery is self-explanatory! it would also explain the increase in poisters around....
Well, gotta go now..just thought i'd share this with you because I am utterly bored
PEACE AND LOVE!!!
ps: if you wish to throw a frying pan, or larger utensils, at me..feel free
also, feel free to share any other theories
save this planet from destruction, use sea water to twirl, its the only thing which wont run out
Insert Champagne Here
13,215 posts
Location: without class distinction, Australia
I like to think that HoP is like Santa
i would have changed ***** to phallus, and claire to petey Petey
Rougie: but that's what I'm doing here
Arnwyn: what letting me adjust myself in your room?..don't you dare quote that on HoP...
coming to a country near you
4,696 posts
Location: home of the tiney toothy bear, Australia
HoP is is like santa, except he doesnt help you set yourself on fire
cuz he's softcore!if HoP does employ hundreds of people, i want to be one!
"but have you considered there is more to life than your eyelids?"
jointly owned by Fire_Spinning_Angel and Blu_Valley
Insert Champagne Here
13,215 posts
Location: without class distinction, Australia
Hundreds of people, or hundreds of elves?
i would have changed ***** to phallus, and claire to petey Petey
Rougie: but that's what I'm doing here
Arnwyn: what letting me adjust myself in your room?..don't you dare quote that on HoP...
coming to a country near you
4,696 posts
Location: home of the tiney toothy bear, Australia
are you suggesting HoP IS santa? "but have you considered there is more to life than your eyelids?"
jointly owned by Fire_Spinning_Angel and Blu_Valley
Member
8 posts
Location: My house, Epsom, Near Sutton, South London, Surrey...
that could make sense..you know how they always say that near Xmas period they're very busy and all... it could make sense!
save this planet from destruction, use sea water to twirl, its the only thing which wont run out
coming to a country near you
4,696 posts
Location: home of the tiney toothy bear, Australia
zomblegods, ye may be right!
"but have you considered there is more to life than your eyelids?"
jointly owned by Fire_Spinning_Angel and Blu_Valley
Insert Champagne Here
13,215 posts
Location: without class distinction, Australia
And if you're bad with your poi and don't treat it right, it'll turn into a lump of coal!...well, yeah, sorta!
i would have changed ***** to phallus, and claire to petey Petey
Rougie: but that's what I'm doing here
Arnwyn: what letting me adjust myself in your room?..don't you dare quote that on HoP...
coming to a country near you
4,696 posts
Location: home of the tiney toothy bear, Australia
or it'll give you a lump the size of coal!
"but have you considered there is more to life than your eyelids?"
jointly owned by Fire_Spinning_Angel and Blu_Valley
Insert Champagne Here
13,215 posts
Location: without class distinction, Australia
Ok, so Malcolm is Santa...is Georgemc Rudolph?
i would have changed ***** to phallus, and claire to petey Petey
Rougie: but that's what I'm doing here
Arnwyn: what letting me adjust myself in your room?..don't you dare quote that on HoP...
Carpal \'Tunnel
3,384 posts
Location: mancunian, United Kingdom
well it makes cantus make sense now..... i always knew he was a secret elf
Disclaimer:im not responsible for what i say or do whether it be before,during and after drinking alcoholic substances (owned by BMVC).
Creater of Jenisms(TM)
Virginity like bubble,one prick all gone.
Member
8 posts
Location: My house, Epsom, Near Sutton, South London, Surrey...
Ok, so we agree on Santa and Co. are in fact HOP.
Any other theories to prove Santa's customers wrong?Sorry..by customers I meant..hmm, what did I mean?? What are we to santa??Cuz we don't buy things off him, (well apparently we do now)..so clearly we're not customers..too many questions..
save this planet from destruction, use sea water to twirl, its the only thing which wont run out
HOP Mad Doctor
13,925 posts
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA
I disagree. I happen to have inside knowledge and I know that Malcolm, DOES make use of elves. However, HoP supports an elven union (unlike Santa, Inc., which is known to engage in union-busting tactics including threatening elves with ear-clippers) and gives them a living wage and benefits.
As for delivery, it is commonly known that NZ has a large faerie population, much of which was indigent and unemployed before HoP. Malcolm has employed them to give the fastest delivery you ever saw!
(Sorry, Malcolm, but I had to give away your secrets!)
-Mike
Certified Mad Doctor and HoP High Priest of Nutella
A buckuht n a hooze! -Valura
Sitting down facing forward . . .
2,387 posts
Location: Christchurch, New Zealand
Rudolph??!!!
I think someone forgot about the tunneling gnomes ...
Written by: Doc Lightning talking about Marmite in Kichi's Intro thread
I have several large jars of the stuff. I actually like it... a little. And don't tell anyone I admitted to it. 
Insert Champagne Here
13,215 posts
Location: without class distinction, Australia
Santa has tunnelling gnomes??
i would have changed ***** to phallus, and claire to petey Petey
Rougie: but that's what I'm doing here
Arnwyn: what letting me adjust myself in your room?..don't you dare quote that on HoP...
coming to a country near you
4,696 posts
Location: home of the tiney toothy bear, Australia
so the faeries dont have to worry about the weather when transporting goods, of course
"but have you considered there is more to life than your eyelids?"
jointly owned by Fire_Spinning_Angel and Blu_Valley
Insert Champagne Here
13,215 posts
Location: without class distinction, Australia
Ah, like when they have to got to Scotland where it rains constantly?
i would have changed ***** to phallus, and claire to petey Petey
Rougie: but that's what I'm doing here
Arnwyn: what letting me adjust myself in your room?..don't you dare quote that on HoP...
coming to a country near you
4,696 posts
Location: home of the tiney toothy bear, Australia
or turbulence when flying hot air balloons, or storms when sailing their catamarans
"but have you considered there is more to life than your eyelids?"
jointly owned by Fire_Spinning_Angel and Blu_Valley
Sitting down facing forward . . .
2,387 posts
Location: Christchurch, New Zealand
You see without the gnomes and the wormholes (did I mention them already?), we have to rely on "evolved science" which some may mistake for "magic"...
A couple of theories about Santa's delivery system:
https://www.fnal.gov/pub/ferminews/santa/
https://www.mae.ncsu.edu/homepages/silverberg/santa/science%20of%20santa%20talk.htm
Since these are supposition, and already freely available in the public domain with a casual Google, I feel no qualms about presenting them here for your edification, enlightenment and amusement (or simply to throw you all off the true scent!) however, I'm not such a killjoy that I'd confirm or deny the truth of the matter. Who tells kids there is no such thing as Santa - not me! Here at HoP, we are preservers of the fun and belief in the unknown!
It is a fascinating subject however?
George
Written by: Doc Lightning talking about Marmite in Kichi's Intro thread
I have several large jars of the stuff. I actually like it... a little. And don't tell anyone I admitted to it.
6,650 posts
that's why they were shooting "LotR" in NZ!...man...
wake up! the best smiles are the ones you lead to 
coming to a country near you
4,696 posts
Location: home of the tiney toothy bear, Australia
so NZ also has lots of gobrins? GOBRINS!
"but have you considered there is more to life than your eyelids?"
jointly owned by Fire_Spinning_Angel and Blu_Valley
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