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Forums > Introductions > Dyke boy sleeps wiv a hockey stick

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The_Pirate_Dyke_BoyHOP Lord of the Pirate Admiralty
1,079 posts
Location: Canterbury, UK


Posted:
only cuz i go to bording skool and i want to defend against the bugger boys and late nite pranks...

yes here i am again, posting
im 17, and i cant be arsed to type out the story of my name, but a lot of peeps in the real world actually call me dyke. tho my real names dave...

basically i started having this thing with this girl, only to find out shes like the queen dyke of her dyke community. and i cant help but hit on girls who i later find out are vaginatarians... rolleyes confused mad

anyway i live in Hackney, East London and go to bording skool in Hertfordshire, 1hr north of London, hence the thing bout bugger boys, no offence meant or anything, beliee me im a guy who was so bent he did a 360... biggrin

so again, FREE HUGS!!!!!!!!!!!!
hug hug beerchug hug hug

D.B.
X x X x X

Ship off the starboard! sound general quarters! noise and light discipline! man the cannons! GET ME THE RUM!

Master of the Free Hug Program


DuncGOLD Member
playing the days away
7,263 posts
Location: The Middle lands, United Kingdom


Posted:
Hiya DB, sounds like the peices are dropping into place nicely for you...good good biggrin

Sorry to hear about your nan, maybe we'll see you at falmouth 3 eh?!

hug

Let's relight this forum ubblove


Pink...?BRONZE Member
Mistress of Pink...Multicoloured
6,140 posts
Location: Over There, United Kingdom


Posted:
Wicked! Glad things are looking up for you hug

Never pick up a duck in a dungeon...


The_Pirate_Dyke_BoyHOP Lord of the Pirate Admiralty
1,079 posts
Location: Canterbury, UK


Posted:
erm, bug, it was my aunt rosa that died, not me gran.

so yes: todays news:

woke up this morning feeling still pretty darn invicible. and first thing i did was check my phone for messages.
"hi dave its Alice. im in the house alone and i think Chris is coming over, call me ASAP"
so i phone and she heads over, and we sit and chat, and eat pizza bagels (yum yum)
all the time, chris is phoning her silent and annoyingly vibrating phone. We end up doing a bit more of the bad thing (mmm.........) we decidied that we were gonna have and exclusive but very relaxed relatioship, but become closer as time goes on. and were gonna TRY not to bang each others brains out at every opportunity.
then at 6pm, we go on the internet randomly (i can only be online 6pm til 8am, and all wknds u see), and we start chatting to Steph, Alice's best mate on MSN, and she really upset alice, because Alice has been making steph lie to chris bout the whole thing. Next thing i know, Alice runs off to meet chris at a park next to her sister's house, down the road from here.
I got scared and followed, trying to see if he was gonna get nsaty, but he didnt look like it, more of a clingning quivering blubbering mess. I would feel sorry for him if he hadnt been soooo rude to me.
Alice eventually came back to mine, but was obviously upset about the chris episode. We hugged and watch eastenders, and when she left i could see she was upset, but i thought it best to give her some space. I felt bad, because i didnt like seeing his effect on him, and i could help think, if i hadnt come back in to this, this wouldnt be happeneing.
but then i remind myself that he was a cu*t to her so i am thankful to God that i did.
I finally got my arse down to spitalfields, met up with UCOF, Sunbeam, and Moohaahaa (hi guys!) had a bit ofa blaze, spun some, and then we went to the pub.
1 pint and two cornish pasties from the west cornish pasty co (helston), we were on the train and on the way home.
Get home and what do i find?
Kaz, Freddie and Paris up against the wall of my hallway with two police standing over them. Now these guys are some of my best mates, but WTF!!???!!!!!
apparently they thought i was in when i was at spitz, but they thought i couldnt hear my buzzer, so Kaz climbed my wall and came in through my bedroom window. as he did this two cops drove passed and spotted them. typical hackney pigs, stop the guys not trying to break any laws and allow bare gang war to kill people.
They explained, and they were gonna let them go, when the pigs decided to search them, between them they had a quart of hi grade skunk.
Cue me and UCOF walking in on this, and us also getting searched and UCOF losing his hash which was quite nice, and his beloved grinder.
Now ive kicked them out of the house, and im typing this as UCOF sleeps in my mums bed.
got to ring Alice tomorrow... it'll all be good

right?

D.B.
X x X x X

Ship off the starboard! sound general quarters! noise and light discipline! man the cannons! GET ME THE RUM!

Master of the Free Hug Program


Kitveteran
1,269 posts
Location: middle of Troon


Posted:
sorry had to laugh at the skunk bit...

always be better tomo...!

hug the boy for me!

random murbles

BELTANE FIRE FESTIVAL. 30th april ~ Calton hill - Edinburgh
SAMHUINN FESTIVAL. 31st October ~ Royal Mile - Edinburgh


DragenWulfBRONZE Member
member
25 posts
Location: Vancouver BC, Canada


Posted:
Hehehe

The_Pirate_Dyke_BoyHOP Lord of the Pirate Admiralty
1,079 posts
Location: Canterbury, UK


Posted:
heya all, UCOF was duely hugged, and at least someone got a laff out of tues nites actions, eh FG69? hehe

so, yesterday:
I met up with Kaz and me, freddie and UCOF hada a J on hackney downs. After which i put UCOF on the train.
I got home and there was a message from Alice on the phone saying
"hey im going job hunting and i thought you'd wanna come with me"
so we went job hunting and we handed out a small forests worth of CVs, so hopefully i'll get a return on at least one of them.
We got back and and i met Peter, her dad, for the first time in three years. Now things were safe with us the first time, but i thought he hated me over what happened the first time. but, things were cool between us, which was a relief.
Then Chris started again.
I wont say what he said, but it got Alice so hurt and upset, she phoned him and started screaming down the phone at him.
Do not go near Alice Goulding when she is pissed off, ESPECIALLY fi you pissed her off.
But believe me she is amazingly wonderful the rest of the time, and i dont mean to make her sound like an ogre, just to warn y'all.

eventually her dad went to bed and we hopped on the good foot and did some more of the bad thing in amazingly spectacular fashion.


TODAY:
i woke up at 09:30 and watched Alice sleep for half an hour. when she woke up ger little brother Freddie (another one) was on his way home from the airport (he was in NYC with their mum) so we got dressed and he dropped in on us at bout 12:00.
the boy is 10yrs old, and yet he could talk the ear off a donkey, and he gesticulates like he spent 3yrs at a theatre acting course.
so we all hang out, and it was all good, Freddie eventually remembered me, and then they went off to Angel, Pete needed a hair cut, Alice needs a nu phone, (so Chris cant get to her nu numba), and i needed to see me mam, who just got back from Wiltshire, why i had had the house to myself for the past 10 days.
I told her bout the pigs, and the job hunting, and about me and Alice, she seems OKish bout it all. But im babysitting for her tonight, so she'd better be cool.
Me and Johnny my lil bro just stuffed pizza hut, and i can barely move....
Ciaran is coming over later to teach Johnny how to play Magic the Gathering TCG (yawn), and we shall chat then.
but now, ima phone Alice.
X x X x X

D.B.
X x X x X

Ship off the starboard! sound general quarters! noise and light discipline! man the cannons! GET ME THE RUM!

Master of the Free Hug Program


The_Pirate_Dyke_BoyHOP Lord of the Pirate Admiralty
1,079 posts
Location: Canterbury, UK


Posted:
well, afta i left this, Kaz and Paris turned up randomly, and Kaz promptly ran off cuz he's [censored] scared of Alice, she hates him with a burning passion, even if she will be civil to him, only for appearances sake.
they all left at about 9pm, and Johnny fell asleep, and we went off to our room (details not needed, you know)
then when we finished, we heard johnny still walking around...
ooops

Alice left at about midnight, and i went to sleep.
So today i ran around all of London looking for her birthday prezzie for sunday (she will finally be eighteen), i ended up in Kingston to get her a barbie-sized Princess Jasmine doll from the Disney store. if you know London, you can appreciate the ditance i went from Hackney VIA Covent Garden and Hamleys to Kingston on the polar opposite side of the city for this thing.
But, in all fairness, it will make me a high-ranking contender for boyfriend of the year...
now im knackered, i feel ill from drinking too much Lucozade, but im going to meet Alice and Ciaran at the XFM night at the Carling Academy Islington tonight, mebbe get a job there, yay!!!

D.B.
X x X x X

Ship off the starboard! sound general quarters! noise and light discipline! man the cannons! GET ME THE RUM!

Master of the Free Hug Program


The_Pirate_Dyke_BoyHOP Lord of the Pirate Admiralty
1,079 posts
Location: Canterbury, UK


Posted:
wow, it really has been ages since i put stuff up here.
apologies if you have been waiting for the next chapter (i know you havnt), but i will put up as much as i can remember, its been over a week now.
Alice had a really crap time at the Academy, she hates indie music, but I like some of it, so it was a bit weird.
I went over to hers the next morning, and we went shopping as my mum buggered off to Northumberland for 2 weeks and i need to eat SOMETHING. It was fun spending time with her family, I’m so jealous her 10yo brother behaves like an angel compared to mine, but oh well. We spent the rest of the day getting ready for her birthday BBQ.
I stayed at her house and we cleaned up the house and the garden ready for the guests. I left at about midday on her birthday to go home, shower and get a couple of friends who didn’t know where the house was.
Thanks to them I was near two hours late, but Alice forgave me.
I got back though and we were all having a good time, eating, drinking, eating. Hats off to Alice’s dad Peter for all the buff cooking, I will try and kidnap him for the next Falmouth meeting.
But Chris being Chris, he HAD to taint it. He came around the house at some point and dropped a card off for Alice. This put me in a mood as I was pissed off he had even been in the east end, let alone on her doorstep while we were on the other side…
Then he starting sending texts and Alice got pissed off, even with me, and I spent the whole night wondering what he said.
I know this wasn’t the smartest thing to do, but I left Alice in bed at first light and went home. She was upset that I’d done this and she came over and we made up.

Monday 9th and Tuesday the 10th were insignificant. Well, that is I can’t remember what happened.

Wednesday I escorted Alice to the cop shop so she could file a report on Chris and his behaviour. It took FOREVER, so many people wasting police time, it was awful. I swear I will never waste police time if I can help it. Then he starts again AFTER he gets a phone call from the pigs and started being a prick again. And this was on the eve of Alice going to Amsterdam. She was stressed enough as it was from getting ready, and then he says he’s gonna claim ownership of the pet rats he gave her, and all this crap. I was specifically told me to kill them before he gets them cuz then at least it’ll be a quick death, not a slow one at his hands.
She was upset and moody for the rest of the night, and it ruined our plans. How is he such a cunt?!??
She woke up and left on Thursday morning with her sister, I woke up missing her.
I have been since been wandering around in a cloud of smoke, especially Friday night…
Saturday night was just silly though. Orange haired skunk and absinthe.
And someone brought bacon flavoured rizla… BUFF STUFF!!
Then… we created it… the
FATTY-BOM-BATTY, SMOKEY-BACON-McCAKEN, ZOOTIE-McBOOTIE
(translation: A pure, bacon rizla’d spliff)
oh good lord….

Sunday was spent recovering and laffing at Dave Thompson as he was still puking 13hrs after he started. At some point he ate a purple and a blue ice pop, and was puking up blue and purple stripes.
Sunday night witnessed a 1500 point warhammer 40k battle between Elathwe Eldar and the combined forces off the Space Marines and the Imperial Guard.
I did quite well considering it was only my second fight with the guard. I folded on the fifth turn when my last heavy weapons were destroyed and I couldn’t detroy either Kaz’s tank or Wraithlord, which pisses me off as I just need to glue together more weapon teams WHICH I HAVE. Grrrr
Woke up this morning, had an interesting convo with Chris’ best mate Kev, who agreed with me that chris had gone too far AND pushed Alice away, agreed that I had done nothing to “steal” her, but still had to take the side of chris…

I despair

Now I have just come back from Alice’s house, I’ve been chatting to her dad about the latest situation. Chris has even been trying to get Alice’s mum on his side, AND it's working…

So there you go, the abridged week. Alice will be back tomorrow evening, hopefully I’ll be able to go to Spitz and get back before she gets back from the Dam, AND I got loads of DVDs incoming tomorrow, like the cowboy bebop complete series PLUS the movie, Kill Bill Vol. 1 &2, and the polyphonic spree new second album, LOVE THE SPREE!!! And my Reading ticket came today, finally, thank God.
Anyway, I'm gonna go bill up!
See you soon!!!

D.B.
X x X x X

Ship off the starboard! sound general quarters! noise and light discipline! man the cannons! GET ME THE RUM!

Master of the Free Hug Program


DuncGOLD Member
playing the days away
7,263 posts
Location: The Middle lands, United Kingdom


Posted:
Dude man that Chris sounds like he needs a kickin! Not that I'd condone it but.......

when does Alice getback form Amsterdam? Do you know if she's got any hassle from him while she's out there?

have an intergalactic hug from me hug2

Now where can I find these smokey bacon rizlas you speak of? Do they taste like Frazzles?

Let's relight this forum ubblove


The_Pirate_Dyke_BoyHOP Lord of the Pirate Admiralty
1,079 posts
Location: Canterbury, UK


Posted:
he does indeed, he says he's now trying to be civil, but i dont trust him as far as i can throw him.

i have no idea where they came from, but i'll scout the ghetto for some if you REALLY want, and yes, they do.... yumyum

so yes...

tues the 17th:
hada cool day, just waiting for alice to return, Ciaran got back from Texas midday, which was cool, he got me an Atlanta Braves baseball cap, which he recieved bug hugs for (im a massif braves fan, baseball rules!!!). I went to spitz in the evening and hadda laff spinning, blazing and drinking. i also found that Ben (matrix ben) lives literally down my road, which is cool. anuva hackney spinner, yay!!!
anyway, i got to Alice's sisters house, and she was all upset about the [censored] Chris has been saying on a website, and the amount of people he's turned against her. so she came to mine and we spent the night and following day together. such heaven.

Thursday 19th:
Got my results, CCE, rejected from Kent Uni, but accepted at APU, not sure what to do, i'll figure it out. Alice got similar, not gonna say what, so we spent the day moping and cursing.
Kaz came over and we hada smoke, i got a bit too chung up and Alice got really pissed off. she left the house and left me there

then she came back and yelled at me, i put my tail between my legs and apologised, and we made up, and eventually went to Booths resaurant for dinner (the original plan) but i paid for it. Then Ciaran and his GF catherine joined us and we had a really good time, stayed in there til midnight, and we went home and slept.

Friday 20th
Woke up and got the DVDs from the sorting office, and me and alice watched Kill Bill Vol2 and ate pizza bagels. she eventually went home to get ready for tonight and i was fianny able to sit on the toilet. Its just one of those things that i cannae do when she's around...

so now im updating this waiting for ahmed to show up so we can go to egg tonight, supposedly a wkd club, but Chris might be there, so im bringing in a few mates in case he starts anything, not that im looking for a fight, i just dont like the idea of going into a possibly hot situation to protect Alice from him without sufficient support.

so there u go, the last few days.
let u know soon!

D.B.
X x X x X

Ship off the starboard! sound general quarters! noise and light discipline! man the cannons! GET ME THE RUM!

Master of the Free Hug Program


Mags The JediGOLD Member
Fool
2,020 posts
Location: Cornwall, UK


Posted:
He went to Texas and got you an Atlanta hat? Wierd, but ok, whatever makes you happy.

When in September are you planning to come to Falmouth? I can't wait to meet you properly. Are you staying with yer family, or do you want a place to crash? You can do both if you like, and make sure you bring yer fire toyz. biggrin

Rah rah rah, we're going to smash the oiks!

devil

"I believe the cost of life is Death and we will all pay that in full. Everything else should be a gift. We paid the cover charge of life, we were born."

Bill Hicks, February 1988


The_Pirate_Dyke_BoyHOP Lord of the Pirate Admiralty
1,079 posts
Location: Canterbury, UK


Posted:
damn... it has been a LONG time since i wrote nething here... funt...

right well first things first, i HAVE been accepted into Kent Uni!!!! the school got it wrong!!! its gonna be so cool.

Mags: im not sure yet, but i will let you know by email or something, though i might not be able to come til october now cuz of money.

Egg was fine the twat didnt show up and a good time was had by all.
My mum has finally returned and come back to work, but her new rules are driving me mad so im starting to think of moving out, which is harsh because my lil bro has just gone off to live with my dad in South London, and she's quite upset. plus i cant blaze here anymore.
Alice is quite upset bout my getting into Uni cuz she's scared that it'll put a timer on our relationship, but i hope that it wont. love this strong...
what? i can be a hopeless romantic...

reading was also amazing, the line ups were no where near as good as the last two, but the libertines, the hives, the white stripes, Flogging molly, Ty, and Rahzel Vs Mike Patton made it all good...
but i missed Alice so much though, as soon as Rahzel and patton finished, i got straight on the coach and went straight to her house, still stinking.
Just before i went away, i got a msn messager form chris saying he doesnt want anymore trouble, he just wants peace (?)
then while im away, Alice goes to a club with her mates, and the dickhead waits outside to talk to her cuz he knows she'll be [censored] on pills and will be more vunerable. Thankfully her mates kept him back and swept her away. then he's sending texts like "if you wanna meet up and chat and do [censored], i wont tell anyone"
Shame she told me then ennit?
plus he's put all this [censored] up on another site (https://www.irlondon.co.uk/matty.messageboard.php?section=message&messageid=49388&boardid=2&replies=42&offset=60), making himself out to be the innocent damaged party, and all these people have needed convincing of the truth, (the death threat text normally does it) but know another of her ex's, leon has now joined in the Alice cussing on the site, and apparently showing everyone that wants to see it, a video of his birthday last year when they were still together, with about 10seconds of her in her undies, and shes a "slut" cuz of it?
er, no... not if it was her boyfriend at the time...
shame on him for not deleting it though, and i thought i was hung up on her...
but does his gf know bout this yet? im wondering whether to tell her or not...

but yeh that my life in the last 10 days, or so, lots of people gonna get a kicking, but thats life...
as im sure the viewers of this site know better than most
IF THEY WANNA PLAY WITH FIRE THEYRE GONNA GET BURNT, BADLY

love u all!

D.B.
X x X x X

Ship off the starboard! sound general quarters! noise and light discipline! man the cannons! GET ME THE RUM!

Master of the Free Hug Program


The_Pirate_Dyke_BoyHOP Lord of the Pirate Admiralty
1,079 posts
Location: Canterbury, UK


Posted:
just to sey hey to all

this thread is a bit much, i might get it deleted...
i guess i just needed to vent at the time
anyway love to all
DB
X x X x X

D.B.
X x X x X

Ship off the starboard! sound general quarters! noise and light discipline! man the cannons! GET ME THE RUM!

Master of the Free Hug Program


Mags The JediGOLD Member
Fool
2,020 posts
Location: Cornwall, UK


Posted:
I think you should keep it. Memory is so fallible, it's nice to keep something a little bit more reliable, even if the memory is a negative one.

"I believe the cost of life is Death and we will all pay that in full. Everything else should be a gift. We paid the cover charge of life, we were born."

Bill Hicks, February 1988


CrazyHippyChickSILVER Member
errrrrr what?
198 posts
Location: cloud 9, United Kingdom


Posted:
Dyke boy i think i met u at reading?

I'll come back as fire and burn all the liars and leave a blanket of ashes on the ground.
I could write the new bridget jones diary only mine would be more bizarre, funnier, dirtier more unbelievabe and bloody true!


The_Pirate_Dyke_BoyHOP Lord of the Pirate Admiralty
1,079 posts
Location: Canterbury, UK


Posted:
hello, well mebbe, i do remember spinning, but im buggered if i can remember who i burnt with...
i had ropes if that helps
And i do think your right mags, i will keep it, and i will try to update it a bit more often.

and so in that spirit:
Me and Alice are currently engaged, and were looking for a place of our own in london, which is hard seeing as a 1 bedroom flat is like £160 a week, and alice is in college and not working much.
I had a run in with rupert, i cant say i was cool with him, or that i didnt spill his blood, but nothing more has come of him, he has ceased contact, but he did try to tell a friend of Alices that i had cheated on her, on a night that i was at her house, and her friend slapped him! such laughs.
anyway
Love to all, im tired, NITE NITE

D.B.
X x X x X

Ship off the starboard! sound general quarters! noise and light discipline! man the cannons! GET ME THE RUM!

Master of the Free Hug Program


UCOFSILVER Member
15,417 posts
Location: South Wales


Posted:
Oi. sexy.

i think I have a cd that belongs to you.

Its got DJ Friction written on the side.

Do you want it or shoudl I chuck it?

even though I didnt get to see as much of you as I wanted, I dont blame you. Sex with a girl is better than me. smile

*poke*

See you soon mate hug

The_Pirate_Dyke_BoyHOP Lord of the Pirate Admiralty
1,079 posts
Location: Canterbury, UK


Posted:
Woah

Well i think the very first thing to do now that im back is to say me and Alice finished a long time ago.
The skinny of that one is i realised i was a rebound that she just didnt have the heart to get rid of.
We split early december, much to my obvious heartache.
I dont have time right now, but in later posts, i promise.
free hugs yo
X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X

D.B.
X x X x X

Ship off the starboard! sound general quarters! noise and light discipline! man the cannons! GET ME THE RUM!

Master of the Free Hug Program


Mags The JediGOLD Member
Fool
2,020 posts
Location: Cornwall, UK


Posted:
Dirty dirrrrrrrrrrty Dykeboy. ubblol Have a good time at Falmouth then mate? biggrin

"I believe the cost of life is Death and we will all pay that in full. Everything else should be a gift. We paid the cover charge of life, we were born."

Bill Hicks, February 1988


The_Pirate_Dyke_BoyHOP Lord of the Pirate Admiralty
1,079 posts
Location: Canterbury, UK


Posted:
wow, this is soooooooo old now, [censored], im 21 for poops sake!

i know i been shitty n not been here for ages, but life is wierd atm, (looking over this thread, when wasnt it?)

im barely in the house as my housemates are nuts, blackmailing me, complaining i come home FROM WORK at 3am (howd you think i feel?!!!) when they go out n get hammered and do the same.
anyway, enough griping, its just im never here to use this thing.



hug anyone?

D.B.
X x X x X

Ship off the starboard! sound general quarters! noise and light discipline! man the cannons! GET ME THE RUM!

Master of the Free Hug Program


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